I can’t believe that it’s been 6 months
since I’ve arrived home. The move from Kuwait was relatively simple and slick,
due to months of planning my escape – and I think I surpassed even my own
expectations of securing a new job, a car and a place to live in my first 10
days home. But home I am, settled into my gorgeous new home, in a job I love.
Happy just about covers it.
My biggest worry about moving
back was that it would be just another re-enactment of when I moved home after Australia. I didn’t
adjust well to being back at that time, and I expected a lot from those around
me. This time, it actually feels like I haven’t been away at all – which, in a
roundabout way, is the nicest feeling of all. The feeling of contentment I have
now is probably the most I’ve felt in years….and perhaps it has a lot to do
with the fact that this time, I know that this is the place I want to be.
But, there has also been a massive
shift in one aspect over the last few years. I’ve only just realised this
recently and I thought I would share it with you all (as I do via my
blog-mutterings)..……Spontaneity. No one
has it anymore. No one bothers with it anymore – and, before I get hounded by
the parents amongst you, I understand why it has become extinct. Doesn’t mean I
have to like it. And I’m not just talking about going out – I’m talking about phone
calls, instead of text messaging and just turning up at someone’s house because
you’re driving past….that kind of thing.
Here’s a funny thought that you may
be surprised at. My mobile never rings. Seriously. It doesn’t. The only people
who actually ring me (regularly) are my sister and my dad – and it’s usually
because I called them first! That’s it – they’re the only ones. I remember a
time, many moons ago, when my phone would literally be ringing all night – and
I get it that people think that I am out every night on the razz, so they don’t
bother to call, but there is this amazing invention called voicemail. If I
can’t answer the phone because I am out at dinner with another friend, I won’t
undermine their time by answering the phone and chatting with you. Because
that’s just rude. But I will call you back, and I will giggle at the silly
voicemails as I listen to them. And turning up unannounced….why
doesn’t anyone do that anymore? My mum and I used to drive round in our old red
Cortina going from one auntie’s house to another, having endless cups of tea,
just to be sociable. And I LOVED it. Mum got to chat with the grown-ups and I
got a cheeky hour of playing outside with my cousins. Heaven. And this was usually
on a school night too…
People have a little whinge at me
when they try and get a date in my diary to catch up, as my availability is usually
limited. And the reason is, because 90% of my friends are parents – and that
means they have to plan their nights out – they cannot be spontaneous (for
obvious reasons). So, I then have to plan my weekends around them too. This
leaves absolutely NO room for spontaneity. None at all. And I sometimes wonder
what would happen if I cleared my diary for a month, didn’t make one
appointment and see what would happen? My biggest fear would be that I would
spend most of the month on my own, because no one has the capability nor the
interest in being impulsive anymore. Not sure I’m brave enough to try it out.
And, funnily enough, after
writing the piece above, spontaneity arrived at my door last night. A friend
was free for a ‘one’ glass of wine….4 hours & two bottles later, not only
were we slightly smashed, but as I closed the door to go to bed, I realised how
thankful I was for that little unplanned visit (and she’s a mum too) – so it has just turned most of this blog upside down!
Christmas is just around the
corner – and I cannot conceal my excitement this year. I don’t know whether it’s
because I’m home with my family, the fact that I'm not having to work on the big day this year (!), or
whether its acceptance, finally, of what Christmases have become for me. For 29 years, I
had Christmas a certain way – always at mum’s, always with my siblings, nieces
and nephews and almost every year, seeing some of my extended family. And of
course, over the last 10 years, it’s invariable changed. The nucleus of the
family has gone for me, the magic & sparkle completely disappeared and everything that I had associated with
Christmas changed forever. But this
year, I don’t know – something has shifted, finally, after so long.
And acceptance is a force
majeure. It has to be. Because you have no other option. This year, I have a number of friends who are
dealing with loss, grief and huge personal changes. And Christmas just throws
in your face the whole ‘family, love, togetherness’ aspect. It’s always the
hardest time of year when you are adjusting to change. So, this Christmas,
instead of spending stupid amounts of cash on presents that actually won’t get
used, why not spend the one thing on your families that we are all in need
of…time. It’s what my siblings and I now do – we spend an entire day and
evening together, eating, drinking, laughing and not one physical gift is
exchanged. Because, you will always remember a memory – a gift can be broken,
lost or damaged. Memories usually can’t be. Just a thought – perhaps for the
future.
Happy Christmas to you all – from
the bottom of my (very excited) heart.
Hols x
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