Hot in the City.....

I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to sit down and finally write my ‘Middle Eastern’ blog. I’ve been here in Kuwait for  4 months now, which has flow past – in a bit of a whirlwind to be honest  and it is  completely different to my first 3 months in Australia. More about that later.

So, it’s hot. Damn hot. Like 45 degrees plus every single day. But it’s not humid which is something I am thankful for -  it just feels like the skin on your face could spontaneously combust at any moment....and that your eyes have dried up to the size of raisins. But apart from that, it’s fine!

Living in a Muslim country has opened my eyes to a number of things. Most notably, is the religious aspect. I’m not going to preach my views here, as to be honest, I am of the opinion of whatever floats your boat – but what I do now have is a deeper understanding of why women cover their faces, heads and bodies in the name of Islam. And do you know what? It’s not for me to explain it to you. If you want to know why they do it, go and research it – you may be pleasantly surprised. But don’t judge women who wear burkha’s on some facebook group that’s trying to incite hatred. People, if you have the knowledge, you have the power. Simples.

We have just finished the 4 weeks of the holy month of ‘Ramadan’ in July. It was tough. We worked reduced hours due to the number of employees who would be fasting, but to not have that bottle of water on my desk, or those nibbles in my draw to eat, was really tough. Turns out, I can go a few hours without eating – who knew??! I did notice that my nails started to split and my skin was really dry from the lack of water. And I was SO lethargic! But we had little kitchenettes we could go into to drink water and one of our canteens was open so we could take our lunches and eat in there. But obviously, I was never organised with taking my lunch in and I would forget to visit the kitchen regularly. I am such an ejit sometimes.

Okay, so let me give you a rough guide to living in Kuwait. There are no trains here. None at all. Don’t think I’ve ever been to country that doesn’t have trains before. Driving – now there’s a whole new concept. I cannot begin to explain how much you take your life into your own hands by driving in Kuwait. It is absolute madness. People on their phones, kids running wild in the car (no car seats here, by the way – I actually saw a man with his 3 year old on his lap whilst he was driving). No concept of safety – its all ‘Inshallah’ which means ‘God Willing’. If you’re in a crash, it’s ‘inshallah’.  There are car loads of women with 4 or 5 maids in the back seat and the front seat empty.  Because they are maids.  Single women throw their mobile phones into the cars next to them for the guys to add their numbers into their phones – some even have diamante phone numbers on the back of their cars for men to call them. Can’t decide if that’s genius or terrifying! And the men are just as bad – with their supercars, racing down the highways. Madness. I also have a driver. It sounds a lot more glamorous that it actually is. I have a taxi driver who picks me up every morning and drive me to work. I do NOT want to drive out here....I relish my life far too much. The taxi’s here seem to be on a good thing. Petrol cost £4 to fill up a 3 litre SUV. Yes, you read that right. And most taxi journeys cost between £3-5 one way. So yeah, I think sometimes I’m in the wrong job.

The houses are enormous. As a Kuwaiti, once you are married, the government hands you a piece of land. However, because Kuwait is now getting a bit congested, they keep their land outside of the city, and instead build upwards on mum and dad’s house. There are no gardens, as it’s too hot to sit outside. So the buildings just get taller and taller – with rooftop covered pools. If you are born in Kuwait, you are not considered a Kuwaiti unless both your parents are born here. So many children are born here, but are not allowed a Kuwaiti passport.I heard a great saying the other day – if a Kuwaiti could drive up to bed, they would. Which pretty much sums up how the lives of the rich are here. When I go to the supermarket and try and pack my shopping into my recycling bags, I get looks of complete shock from the workers as they can’t comprehend why I would want to pack my own bags. And not use 700 plastic bags to take everything home in! There’s no recycling here either, which goes against what I’m used to.

On the whole, I am loving living in Kuwait. I was fortunate enough to find out that a very old friend was already living here when I arrived, and she kindly offered for me to rent a room from her. With a pool on the roof, air con and all modern amenities, how could I have said no?  I literally cannot believe my luck. Someone was definitely looking out for me. Thanks Mum.  Work is making the time fly. I am learning so much on a daily basis, that my head feels like it going to explode every evening.  For the first time in my career, I am concentrating wholly on my work – I know it will surprise most of you to know that most weeknights I come straight home, have dinner and go to bed! The weekends seem to last longer out here – I am assuming it’s because I’m not hanging every Saturday morning with a raging hangover and spending half the day in bed. I do miss drinking, but not as much as everyone else thought I would. Although everytime I Skype with my dad & pat, they both have a glass of vino on the go – thanks guys!

Homesickness isn’t a problem this time around. It has occurred to me that when I was in Australia, I actually wasn’t homesick - I was lonely. Even though I made an amazing group of friends, there were still nights I was home alone, and that’s when I felt it the most. I’d never really spent time alone before then – as most of you know, my diary was always full with meeting so-and-so for drinks or going to someone’s house for dinner. So my time in Australia taught me that having time on your own is amazing – that, to be able to spend time alone is crucial. And, as it turns out, I’m quite good company! Who knew?

Also recently, it’s been that spate of birthdays for most of my friends now turning the big 4-0. And it’s only 6 months until I hit mine. A few of my friends seem to be having difficulty with this big birthday approaching, but I cannot wait. As you know, my 30’s started with the most life changing situation to have ever happened to me (losing my mum 2 months before) and I’ve come to realise that I’ve now lived my entire 30’s without her. And I’ve learnt a lot in that time – about who I am, where I want to be and who I want to become. I know that when I was in my 20’s, it was assumed that I would be the one out of most of my friends who would be married and have children by now. Isn’t it funny how life turns out? I have accepted the fact that biological children may not be in my future – but I do hope that one day, someone may call me mum, whether via adoption or fostering, but who knows. It’s hard to know how that will pan out. But for now, I’ll enjoy the path I am taking and know that whatever lies ahead for me, it was already mapped out long before now.

Love, always x

Leaving, on a jet plane......again.

So, the word is on the street. Those itchy feet have made me consider new opportunities and  I'm off again. To some, I don't think it's a massive surprise that I'm off on my next adventure. The 'coming home' experience was not everything I thought it would be, although, I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason and that I was meant to come home in order to know where to go next.

Hindsight is the greatest thing, right? I now know that I made a snap decision to leave Australia. And there will be a lot of 'I told you so's'. However, on the flip side, once my decision was made, I then moulded into the happiest I've ever been. Looking back, I know I couldn't have stayed in a recruitment agency role (as much as I loved my job and my boss!), but I fell out of love with the recruitment industry. So, purely on that level, I knew I had to come home and move into an inhouse role as my visa would not give me that opportunity in Oz. My journey was to take me to Mothercare in order to find out about Alshaya, which has now opened more new doors for me to step through. 

In my past blogs, I have spoken a lot about friendships. To me, my friends represent the lack of partner in my life, they have taken the place of a husband and child(ren) - sometimes to my detriment. My family are the one constant in my life, however, my demands on their time, love and support can sometimes cause friction as they cope with their own demands. I'm well aware of that. But readjusting to your surroundings takes time, patience and understanding from all those around you.

I've learnt a lot over the past 10 months about how I'm perceived, how I deliver my words and the fact that, actually, I do have a lot of patience and I have changed, but some still assume I will react like I used to, so they back away. So, the question is, are people open to change or do they fear it and stay the same as its easier?

Someone told me recently that in response to not having the 'big' occasions in my life yet (a marriage, children, buying a house with a partner), I'm actually chasing my own 'immense' rollercoaster rides, which invariably includes moving abroad and starting again. I used to fear the unknown, the fear not being known and the thought of being in a place where no one knew me filled me with terror. But, oh my, how that has changed. It's now my desire to be somewhere new, to be unseen, to walk around incognito and only tell people parts of my life that I want them to know. That, my friends, is my new passion. That and not starting my sentences with 'no, but'. Right Zo?

My counselling course has taught me a lot of personal things. I've realised I have a fear of abandonment, which makes me smother my friends & family in many ways. I expect people in my inner circle to think of me, like I think of them - and when they don't, I am always confused & feel let down which then makes me question my relationship with them. But that's my issue, not theirs. And it's something I'm working on, which will take time and effort. It's hard to try and tweak personal idiosyncrasies when you're surrounded by people who may judge you on your past behaviours. I know that I speak my mind, but I have never done it with malice or cruelty. I never speak to maim someone. Ever. But some feel it's okay to speak their truths to me and I have to take that on board? How is that fair? Others judge my honesty as a negative and yet, when they want a new perspective or advice, who's the person they'll come to? My point exactly. But I always have open arms and (hopefully) an open mind when they do come to me.... 

University also taught me a raw truth - that I am hardly ever listened to. I speak, people hear me, but they very rarely listen. Because if they did, they would see how hard I've been working to try and tweak my behaviours, that my personal journey from Australia (and around the world) has made me change my perspective. I am no longer angry at everyone. I try not to judge. I have a mostly positive outlook on life and I try and be happy almost everyday. My journey to Kuwait will give me a new perspective on my career and my finances. And who knows, perhaps one day I will be a lot happier with who I am, with what I have to offer and will get the opportunity to feel unconditional love. But for now, I'll travel the world and take you all with me via my blog.

And right now, that's just enough.


xxxxxx