Weighty Issues.....

Seems funny that this will be my penultimate blog before I go on my world travels. 10 weeks and counting...EEK! I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently and one topic keeps rearing its head, so I thought I’d try and get my thoughts written down.

As some of you may know, I have been trying to re-educate myself in a more healthier living lifestyle. However, trying to change habits that you’ve had for a lifetime is extraordinarily hard. It’s very easy to say that you’ll stop doing one thing, because in a few weeks’ time, you’ve realised you’ve automatically started it again. It’s like it’s been programmed into you from birth. Discussions I’ve held with friends about diet/exercise and healthy living have thrown up a number of interesting issues, which I’m going to try and mention here. 

Firstly, exercise. A friend told me recently, whilst discussing this subject, that her entire childhood/teenage years included exercise of some sort – walking with her parents, running with her dad etc. Which she still tries to continue today. And it got me thinking about my own relationship with exercise. When I was at school, we had PE lesson 2-3 times a week. Then most evenings I was outside playing with the other kids in my road. But when I got to 14/15, the playing outside got childish and I slowed down my sport intake (apart from at school), even though I still rode my bike to school each day. And, obviously, my exercise went completely out of the window when I started driving. And that’s when my weight started creeping on. Because I got lazy.

No one thought to educate me on my food intake. My mum didn’t have the best relationship with food, and she spent an inordinate amount of time and effort on ‘fad’ diets (Cambridge diet, slimming world, Rosemary Connelly) etc. Plus the fact she had a ‘goodie cupboard’ in the kitchen which was filled with sweets and chocolate, apparently for the grandkids when they came to stay every weekend! Of course they wereJ. Those diets obviously didn’t work for her in the long term. What she didn’t understand was that elements of these diets DO work, if you are prepared to stick to their methods for the rest of your life – moderation, fresh fruit & veg and no processed food. You can’t do the diet, lose 3 stone and go back to your old ways of eating – the weight will obviously go back on. Isn’t that just common sense?

I’ve spoken to so many people who have tried different ways to lose weight – each to their own. But surely, the old adage of ‘eat less and move more’ is the sure-fire way to a healthier lifestyle? I know my problem in the past has been laziness – too tired when I got home from work to go out and exercise, I’m not a ‘morning person’,  I’m not built for running, I don’t like the gym….blah blah blah. But actually, it’s all just excuses. The healthiest people I know are also the busiest (one of my best friends works stupidly long hours in London, but still manages to go to boot camp twice a week and run twice a week, whilst eating healthily AND having a social life). So, does it all just boil down to the fact that most people don’t want to learn to change, therefore they stick with what they know (or rather, don’t know)? Even if it’s wrong? It’s never too late to try new things, but it does mean getting your butt off that sofa and getting outside….It’s a slow process for me, and the weight loss has been minimal (which is frustrating), but it’s a long term goal. Isn’t that the point?

And, the most important thing is to feel good about yourself, whatever your size, right? Inner confidence shines like a beacon when you have it, because it radiates from every pore. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a size 8 or a size 18, if you have ‘It’, it shows. An old friend of mine was (and still is) one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met – and she was a classified as a ‘big girl’. Her confidence in her body is what made her beautiful (plus her cracking sense of humour) and whenever I went out with her, men flocked round her. And I used to just stand there in awe of her ability to mesmerise people and all everyone ever saw was her…..not her figure. And that’s where I would love to get to. I’ve spent the last few years blaming my singledom on my weight (what man in his right mind wants to date a fat girl, right?)….wrong, I know. And to constantly moan about your weight is actually a massive bore to those around you - if you're not doing anything about it. And, actually, it doesn’t matter how many compliments you receive, if you’re not feeling confident about yourself, no amount of lovely words will make you feel any better.

Turns out, in fact, I was using my weight as a shield to protect myself from being hurt. I heard someone say once that every woman has the exact love life she wants. And I truly believe that. I’ve stayed single because I chose to, but also, I didn’t feel like I was in the right headspace to be in a relationship. So, the gloves are now coming off…..I am trying to find that inner confidence to make sure that I can love myself regardless of my weight….and perhaps, once I’ve found that level of personal happiness, I’ll meet that man who’s destined to be with me….the lucky devil, wherever/whoever he is...

Fingers crossed, eh?

xxxx